Funny job search quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

  …

  Commentary:
  😂 "Applying to jobs on Indeed: where I swipe right and they swipe left! 🏃‍♂️💼💔"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

  Commentary:
  "Is there an app for instant approvals yet? Asking for a friend… and their resume. 🤔🧑‍💻📄"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like someone's resume is out of this world! 🚀🌌 It seems like the space bar had a mind of its own and decided to take a few breaks between words. Gaps in your resume? More like gaps in the galaxy! Who knew a tiny button could cause interstellar mayhem? 🌠🪐

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

  Commentary:
  Hiring managers beware: this job seeker is ready to tackle any task… as long as it doesn't involve crafting a dreaded cover letter! 📝🙅‍♂️ Who's got time for eloquent prose when there are memes to be browsed and snacks to be eaten, am I right? 😂 Stay tuned for the next episode of "Avoiding Cover Letters: A Memoir."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

  Commentary:
  Interviewer: "What did you learn from your previous job?"
  Me: "That I need a new job."

  🤣 Looks like the previous job was a crash course in job hunting! 🏹 Good thing this candidate is quick on their feet! #JobHuntingChampion

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  5 months ago

  Share →: 8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

  Commentary:
  "Clearly this candidate has some killer moves they're just not willing to show off in the boardroom 🥋💼 No need for team-building exercises here, just bring on the karate chops! 💥💼 #ResumeGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the infamous job search question – a true emotional rollercoaster! 🎢 First of all, asking about it is like poking a sleeping dragon. Second, it's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded! 🤷‍♂️ One simply cannot predict the mysteries of the job hunting universe!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old question of the century! 🤣 Well, if being a piece of shit was a profession, let's just say the job market would be overflowing with candidates! 💩 But hey, at least they could offer a 'crappy' benefits package! 😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

  Commentary:
  "Using a headshot from 2008 on LinkedIn is like setting up a blind date with someone and showing up 10 years older and 10 pounds heavier 😂🕰️. It's all about managing expectations, right? 🤷‍♂️ #ThrowbackThursday #LinkedInFail"

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