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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has copied:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has copied:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has shared:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on TikTok:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Just landed via X:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Trending via Telegram:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Trending via Twitch:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Funny Joseph quotes

Funny Joseph quotes bring a burst of laughter and good vibes to your day πŸ˜„βœ¨ Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or some clever wit to share, these gems from Joseph never fail to brighten the mood πŸŽ‰πŸ˜‚ Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort with joyβ€”because humor is always better when it’s a little unexpected! πŸ₯³πŸ”₯

New funny Joseph quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny Joseph quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

76 shares on Threads this month:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

19 shares on Slack this month:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

69 shares on X this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

How come it’s called β€œthrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

62 shares on Reddit this month:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

66 shares on Slack this month:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

83 shares on X this month:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me β€œBatteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has downloaded:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has viewed:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has downloaded:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Trending via Twitch:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Going viral on X:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Making waves on Twitch:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Going viral on Twitch:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Making waves on Slack:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Going viral on Facebook:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

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