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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Just shared via Messenger:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Making waves on Reddit:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Trending via Threads:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Going bananas on Messenger:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Funny Joseph quotes

Funny Joseph quotes bring a burst of laughter and good vibes to your day 😄✨ Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or some clever wit to share, these gems from Joseph never fail to brighten the mood 🎉😂 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort with joy—because humor is always better when it’s a little unexpected! 🥳🔥

New funny Joseph quotes 👇

All funny Joseph quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

21 shares on Slack this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

58 shares on X this month:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Making waves on Twitch:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Making waves on TikTok:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Spotted on Telegram:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Going viral on Twitch:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

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