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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from ðŸ‡ķðŸ‡Ķ has downloaded:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŪðŸ‡ą has copied:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇷🇚 has viewed:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŧðŸ‡Ļ has viewed:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡Ļ has copied:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from ðŸ‡Ļ🇭 has copied:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from ðŸ‡Ļ🇎 has downloaded:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĻðŸ‡ū has downloaded:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from ðŸ‡Ķ🇎 has bookmarked:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇚🇎 has downloaded:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Reported on Snapchat:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Making waves on Discord:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Just shared via Threads:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Reported on Telegram:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌ïļ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂ðŸ’Ĩ

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Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

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Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡Ū has downloaded:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇧ðŸ‡ļ has bookmarked:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģðŸ‡Ū has bookmarked:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇷ðŸ‡ī has viewed:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from ðŸ‡ē🇞 has viewed:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇷ðŸ‡ļ has copied:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from ðŸ‡đðŸ‡ŋ has viewed:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from ðŸ‡ąðŸ‡ū has downloaded:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇊🇷 has downloaded:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from ðŸ‡ēðŸ‡Đ has copied:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Just shared via Messenger:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Shared recently on X:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Spotted on YouTube:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Trending via TikTok:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Just shared via Telegram:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Spotted on Messenger:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

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