Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Commentary:
“Sleeping is my favorite addiction, my cozy bed is like the shadiest dealer in town, and my alarm clock? Well, it’s the biggest snitch of them all! 🛌💤🚨 #SleepingBeautyTurnedSleepingCriminal”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

    Commentary:
    “No worries, we all have our ‘plastic brain’ moments! 😄 Just make sure to recycle any stray thoughts properly! 🧠🔄”

  • Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

    Commentary:
    🌙✨ “Who knew the moon was the real MVP with that night shift hustle?! 🌚 Sorry sun, but the moon’s got us covered when it comes to lighting up the night sky in style! 😎 #TeamMoon” 🌟🌝

  • Men need women, women need men. The end.

    Commentary:
    Well, isn’t that just the perfect summary of the eternal battle of the sexes! 🤣 It seems like we’re all just out here trying to find our other half, and sometimes it feels like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded! 🧩♀️♂️ But hey, at least we can all agree on one thing: we definitely need each other (and a good sense of humor) to navigate this crazy thing we call life! 😉👫

  • Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the infamous ‘Hey everyone watch this!’ clause – the universal signal for impending chaos and potential disaster at the pool. It’s like a siren call for lifeguards to brace themselves and for spectators to prepare for some quality entertainment. Remember, folks, the only thing you should be showing off at the pool is your impeccable cannonball form!”

  • I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

    Commentary:
    Looks like the passenger seat in a Cybertruck is reserved exclusively for Elon Musk’s ego! 🚗👤 #LonelyRide

  • Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs fancy recipes when you’ve got shredded cheese and a bag? 🧀 Just remember, moderation is key… unless you’re at a cheese party – then all bets are off! 😜🧀 #SnackGoals”