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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Going bananas on TikTok:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Live now on Reddit:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Making waves on YouTube:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Broadcasted on Threads:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Freshly posted on X:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

20 Funny life stage quotes

Funny life stage quotes bring laughter to every twist and turn of our journey 🎢😂 Whether you’re rocking your awkward teen years, navigating wild adulthood, or embracing the wisdom of later life 🌟👵, these witty sayings remind us to smile through it all. Ready to giggle at the chaos and celebrate every moment? Let’s dive into the hilarious side of growing up and growing wiser! 🎉🤣

New funny life stage quotes 👇

For even more funny life stage quotes, hit next 👇

All funny life stage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Threads this month:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

38 shares on Discord this month:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Just landed via Reddit:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Just shared via Discord:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Just shared via TikTok:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Live now on Twitch:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

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