Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Just shared via Twitch:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Trending via WeChat:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Just landed via Messenger:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Just shared via Telegram:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Just shared via WeChat:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Spotted on Reddit:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about confidently sending regrettable texts without alcohol, humorous and playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs liquid courage when you have a permanent residence in Regretsville? 🙈📱 No alcohol required for this wild ride of embarrassing texts! Just pure, unfiltered shame delivered straight to your inbox. Cheers to that sober regret! 🍷😅"

alcohol, brag, communication, humor, i, need, regret, relationships, send, social, texts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

31 shares on Reddit this month:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Trending via Pinterest:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Trending via Facebook:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Shared recently on X:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Trending via Discord:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴