Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Just shared via Messenger:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Just landed via Reddit:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Going viral on Messenger:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Just landed via Pinterest:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Funny locks quotes

Funny locks quotes 🔐😂 are the perfect way to add a twist of humor to everyday security struggles! Whether you’re tired of losing keys or just love a good pun, these witty lines will have you chuckling every time you think about your trusty locks. Ready to unlock some laughs and keep things light? Let’s dive into the world where safety meets silliness! 🔑🤣

New funny locks quotes 👇

All funny locks quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

53 shares on Slack this month:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Just landed via YouTube:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Just landed via Threads:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Trending via Reddit:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴