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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Going viral on Threads:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Earth is hard.

Seen just now on Facebook:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Going viral on X:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Reported on Twitch:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Making waves on WeChat:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Spotted on Discord:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Reported on LinkedIn:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Seen just now on Threads:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Making waves on WeChat:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Going viral on Reddit:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

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