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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Making waves on WeChat:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Trending via TikTok:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Funny mantis quotes

New funny mantis quotes 👇

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

4 weeks ago

blorange, celibacy, colors, gurple, humor, i, imagination, know, mantis, mantis shrimp, point, same, sarcasm, shrimp, vivid, vivid imagination

All funny mantis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

97 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

47 shares on X this month:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Going viral on X:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Just shared via Twitch:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Trending via Slack:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Making waves on YouTube:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Trending via Twitch:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Seen just now on Threads:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Just landed via YouTube:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny mantis quotes

New funny mantis quotes 👇

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

All funny mantis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨