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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Trending via Telegram:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Spotted on WeChat:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Reported on Twitch:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Trending via X:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Going viral on X:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Going viral on Slack:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

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