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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Reported on Discord:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Spotted on X:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Just landed via Instagram:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Just shared via TikTok:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Trending via WeChat:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Live now on Twitch:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Home » Funny Offense Quotes

Funny offense quotes

Funny offense quotes are the perfect way to turn awkward moments into laughter 😄🔥 Whether you’re poking fun at misunderstandings or tackling sensitive topics with a wink 😉, these clever lines keep the vibe light and entertaining. Ready to laugh off the tension and enjoy some cheeky humor? Let’s dive into the world of witty comebacks and playful jabs that never take things too seriously! 🎉💬

New funny offense quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Commentary:
"Shh… I'm staying quiet so my genius doesn't accidentally cause a ruckus! 🤫🤪 #SilencedSmartypants"
1 month ago
Share →: I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Commentary:
🤣 "Sorry for the oversight! Next time, I'll send out a personalized 'offense' card to ensure nobody feels left out! 💌🙈"
6 months ago
Share →: Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Commentary:
How amusing would it be to have a light-hearted twist during a potentially tense situation? 🚓🍦 Imagine the sound of the ice cream truck jingle luring you in, only to be greeted by the flashing lights of a police car.🎵😅 It might just turn a stressful moment into a quirky memory!
6 months ago
Share →: It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Commentary:
"Thank goodness for small mercies! 📱🙊 I guess some things are best left unseen… and unsmelled! 😂 #NoSmelfiesPlease"
6 months ago
Share →: My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Commentary:
Looks like he couldn't handle the hard-hitting truth during the PowerPoint roast session! 🤭💼 Better luck next time trying to dodge self-awareness, hubby! 😜🖥️

For even more funny offense quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny offense quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Going viral on Slack:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Just shared via Reddit:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Seen just now on Discord:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Spotted on Twitch:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Making waves on YouTube:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Trending via Messenger:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

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