118 Funny old quotes

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the moment you realize your hearing is as questionable as your memory 🙉📺 Embrace the subtitles – they're like your personal on-screen hearing aid! #AgeingGracefully

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the fantastic four moods – a relatable roller coaster of excuses! 🎢 Who knew getting out of things could be such an art form? 🎨 Next time you need a reason not to do something, just pick a mood and away you go! 🌟 #MoodMaster

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

  Commentary:
  "Age might just be a number, but the speed at which it catches up with us is like the surprise plot twist in a movie 🎥👴🏼 Who knew time could be such a speed demon, right? ⏱️😅"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the timeless joy of transforming an innocent Christmas wrapping tube into a weapon of playful retaliation! 🎄💢 Who knew that a simple cardboard tube could evoke such mischief and laughter, regardless of age? Watch out, as the battle of the holiday tube warriors commences! 🎁🤺 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone gets bonked on the head with festive spirit! 😉

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

  Commentary:
  "Having a two-year-old is like trying to contain a caffeinated tornado with endless energy and zero chill 😅🌪️ No lid, no limits, just pure chaos and mess!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

  Commentary:
  "Back in my day, we didn't have fancy hashtags and social media trends 🧐 We just saw a pound sign and thought, 'Hey, that's a great spot for a game of tic-tac-toe!' 😂 #OldSchoolCool"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

  Commentary:
  "Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you. 📱💁‍♂️ Back in my day, we had to manually type in HTML codes for our MySpace layouts! 😂 #ThrowbackThursday"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

  Commentary:
  "Cleaning the house to your old clubbing tunes? That's the grooviest retirement plan ever! 🎶🧹 Who needs a DJ when you can just spin that mop!"

For even more funny old quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny old quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌