118 Funny old quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

  Commentary:
  "Guess I'll be forever young at this rate! 😂🎈👴"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

  Commentary:
  "When opportunity knocks… or rather, flushes! 🚽🤣 #BathroomBreaksAreTheNewSnacks"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

  Commentary:
  "Millennials: the ultimate time travelers, living like spring chickens but creaking like old doors! 😂🕰️🚪"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

  …

  Commentary:
  🎉🧠 "Heads up, everyone! It's like software updates, but for me! Time to hit 'refresh' and wave bye-bye to those old versions! 🚫🗑️🤣"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

  Commentary:
  "Proof that time travel exists: watch any old man try to relive his glory days! 🚀🕺🤣"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew 'paranormal activity included' was a selling point? Time to ask for that ghostly rebate! 👻🏚️😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: “New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

  Commentary:
  "When your password manager needs a new hobby… 🙄🔐🤣"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

  Commentary:
  "May the best Roomba win! 🏆🤖 Battle of the suction cups! Who will claim the floor? 🤺😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

  Commentary:
  "Guess it's time to face the music 🎶… and maybe pick up some kale while I'm at it! 🥬😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your pillow game is on a rollercoaster—going from painful to downright plush! 🎢🛌 Maybe your neck just has a flair for the dramatic. 😂 Time to find that perfect middle ground where comfort and support finally shake hands! 🤝😉

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