Funny quotes old Page 2

97 Funny old quotes

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

3 months ago

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

3 months ago

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

3 months ago

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

3 months ago

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

3 months ago

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

3 months ago

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

3 months ago

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

3 months ago

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

3 months ago

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

3 months ago

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

3 months ago

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

3 months ago

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

3 months ago

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

3 months ago

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

3 months ago

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

3 months ago

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

3 months ago

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

3 months ago

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

3 months ago

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

3 months ago