108 Funny old quotes

More funny old quotes 👇

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  4 months ago

  View →: Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.
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  5 months ago

  View →: You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.
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  5 months ago

  View →: How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.
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  5 months ago

  View →: You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m not old, I’m vintage.
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  5 months ago

  View →: How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.
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  5 months ago

  View →: White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.
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  5 months ago

  View →: When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I get sad when I see how old people my age are.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”
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  5 months ago

  View →: A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.
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  5 months ago

  View →: It’s strange being the same age as old people.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

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