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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Going viral on Messenger:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Trending via X:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Live now on LinkedIn:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Going viral on Facebook:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Just shared via Twitch:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Just landed via WeChat:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Making waves on Telegram:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Just landed via Discord:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Making waves on Messenger:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Spotted on Snapchat:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Reported on Messenger:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

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