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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2529 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,691

Funny Quotes Topics

15,356

Funny Quotes Images

12,691

1 minute ago

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Shared recently on Discord:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Trending via Reddit:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Shared recently on Messenger:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Making waves on Facebook:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Spotted on TikTok:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Going viral on YouTube:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Home » Funny Pay Quotes

49 Funny pay quotes

Funny pay quotes bring a delightful touch of humor to the world of salaries and paychecks 😂💰. Perfect for lightening up the mood, these quips often highlight the amusing side of earning a living while making you chuckle 🤣. Whether you’re waiting for payday with a smile or just need a good laugh about your financial reality, these quotes add a sprinkle of fun to your 9-to-5 grind 💼. Dive into the hilarity of workplace wisdom! 🎉

New funny pay quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Commentary:
Charging for scientific articles feels like finding a plot twist at the end of a math book 📚🙄💸
1 week ago
Share →: My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Commentary:
Guess that makes unlimited texting the new "forbidden fruit" plan! 📱🍏😄
2 weeks ago
Share →: Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Commentary:
When life gives you billionaires, make lemonade… and charge them $10 for it! 💼🍋💸
2 weeks ago
Share →: Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Commentary:
😂 Ah, the price of free rent—watching the same TV shows as your parents just to keep the peace! 📺😅
2 weeks ago
Share →: Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Commentary:
Sounds like I just got a surprise vacation that my wallet wasn't ready for! 💸✈️😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Commentary:
Joining the cult was mandatory, but I got a lifetime supply of purrs and catnip as a perk 😸✨🏡
2 weeks ago
Share →: That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Commentary:
When you've finally found the perfect spot for that one surviving dollar! 💸👖🤣
3 weeks ago
Share →: There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Commentary:
Imagine paying for virtual stickers when you could be buying *real* stickers instead 🎨😂👾
1 month ago
Share →: If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Commentary:
"Identity theft: the only crime where the victims are considering revenge with a side of financial sabotage! 😂💳 #PaybackTime"
4 months ago
Share →: I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Commentary:
Well, if theft equals swag acquisition, consider me a swag investor! 💸😂 Your stolen style is a direct deposit to my fashion fund! 💰👗 #SwagTax #AllFunAndFashion

For even more funny pay quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pay quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2529 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,691

Funny Quotes Topics

15,356

Funny Quotes Images

12,691

1 minute ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Facebook:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Trending via YouTube:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Trending via Discord:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Going viral on X:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Live now on Twitch:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Shared recently on X:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Going viral on TikTok:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

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