62 Funny pay quotes

• I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

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  2 hours ago

  child, debt, family, finance, humor, i, joke, love, me, money, parenting, parents, pay, spending, world

• Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

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  8 hours ago

  August, Congress, enjoying, everyone, forgot, full, humor, i, month, oh, only, pay, politics, sarcasm, vacation, work

• You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

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  10 hours ago

  bad, bad guy, comedian, double, double standard, free, good, guy, hear, humor, i, money, offensive, pay, say, something, standard

• Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

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  20 hours ago

  academic, academic publishing, access, access to knowledge, article, criticism, disgusting, education, frustration, having, knowledge, pathetic, pay, paywall, practice, publishing, read, research, scholarly, scholarly article, scientific, scientific article

• My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

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  21 hours ago

  atonement, bill, cell, cell phone bill, consciousness, creating, dad, family, humor, monthly, original, original sin, pay, phone, responsibility, sin

• My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

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  6 days ago

  advice, anyone, getting, humor, job, last, laziness, little, management, office, pay, productivity, time, time management, while, work

• Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

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  1 week ago

  ad, ads, age, attention, balance, consumer, demographic, digital, digital age, flow, humor, let, marketing, pay, personalized, personalized ad, soul, spirituality, through, touch

• I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

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  2 weeks ago

  back, bank, borrow, borrowing, came, debt, finance, humor, i, loan, mad, money, pay, repayment, sarcasm, understand, why

• I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

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  2 weeks ago

  again, attention, beginning, ending, humor, i, me, morning, new, new beginning, pay, perspective, resilience, times, world, world ending

• If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

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  3 weeks ago

  50, coffee, coffee shop, days, humor, old, old days, passive-aggressive, pay, payment, pretend, shop, sign, smoke, Wi-Fi, wifi

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