Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Seen just now on Threads:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Just shared via Messenger:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Spreading quickly via X:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Just landed via YouTube:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Funny pencil quotes

Funny pencil quotes ✏️ bring a smile to anyone who loves doodling, sketching, or just writing nonsense! Whether you’re a student, artist, or office ninja, these witty words add a splash of humor to your everyday scribbles 😂. Get ready to pencil in some laughs and sharpen your funny bone with clever lines that prove even a simple pencil can have a big personality! 😄📝

New funny pencil quotes 👇

All funny pencil quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Slack this month:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

You wish you had this many chins.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

56 shares on Threads this month:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

24 shares on TikTok this month:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Breaking via Telegram:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Trending via YouTube:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Making waves on X:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

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