Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I'm wondering what your bloody deal is.

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Commentary:
"Hey there! Are you Black Friday, because you've got me feeling like I need to fight through crowds just to uncover your irresistible discounts! 💸🛍️ #SavageSavings"

"My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand." -Me, flirting.

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Commentary:
"Smooth moves! 😎 Maybe it's time to start a 'romantic glasses collection' on that nightstand of yours! 🤓💕"

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's dishing out compliments with a side of sarcasm! 🔥❄️ Maybe next time, less microwave, more microwaveable hearts! 😂 #ColdAsIce #HotStuff"

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's cooking up a saucy pick-up line! Just remember, it's all fun and games until someone gets tangled in a pasta-ble situation!"