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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Jan 12, 2026

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Making waves on Threads:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Just shared via Messenger:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Spotted on Reddit:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

65 Funny preference quotes

Funny preference quotes 🎭 are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of humor to your day! Whether you’re choosing between cats 🐱 and dogs 🐶 or debating pineapple on pizza 🍍🍕, these witty words capture the quirks of personal choices with a chuckle. Dive into the delightful world of preferences where each punchline reminds us that our differences make life far more entertaining 😂. Get ready to laugh as you explore the lighter side of decision-making!

New funny preference quotes 👇

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

2 weeks ago

butter, cooking, emphasis, enough, food, food preference, humor, i, preference, salted, salted butter, seasoning, stress
When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

2 months ago

appearance, body, designating, gain, humor, i, preference, should, weight, where
I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

2 months ago

activity, age, aging, club, hardware, hardware store, humor, i, lifestyle, preference, social, social activity, store, where
Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

2 months ago

beach, dating, feet, foot, going, guy, humor, insane, preference
I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

2 months ago

cheese, favorite, favourite, food, humor, i, joke, person, preference, relationship
People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

2 months ago

allowed, consumption, dislike, entertainment, humor, i, media, opinion, people, preference
Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

2 months ago

cold, fan, food, food preference, frozen, frozen pizza, humor, joke, opinion, pizza, preference, too
If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

2 months ago

AC, cold, cold preference, heat, humor, invite, keep, lizard, me, please, preference, temperature, terrarium
Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

2 months ago

comfort, humor, i, know, meal, movie, outfit, preference, relatable, rewatch, routine, self-care
I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

2 months ago

business, dining, dislike, food, humor, i, joke, mixing, pizza, pleasure, preference, vegetables

For even more funny preference quotes, hit next 👇

All funny preference quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Slack this month:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

40 shares on X this month:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

31 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

52 shares on Threads this month:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Just shared via TikTok:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Trending via X:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Trending via Slack:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Making waves on Slack:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Just landed via Discord:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

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