I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Commentary:
"I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference. 🤣⛰️ Who needs a specific hill when you're ready to go all in on any plot of land? Flexibility at its finest! 💪 #HillLover #NoHillPreference"

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Commentary:
"Who knew that a simple bowl of cereal could have a curfew and a taste preference? 🌙🥣 Forget breakfast for dinner, it's all about midnight munchies in cereal town! 😂"

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Commentary:
"Who needs flowers when you can have a bouquet of delicious KitKats instead? 🍫🌸 Pro-tip: Chocolate > Petals any day! #SweetToothGoals"

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Commentary:
"Who needs cream and sugar when you can save those calories for the real party?! 🍸☕️ #priorities"

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Commentary:
🍵☕️ "Who needs to be everyone's cup of tea when you're a bold espresso in a world of lukewarm lattes? Let them sip on their boring cups of 'meh' while you brew up some caffeinated charisma!" ☕️🌟 #EmbraceYourEspressoFlavor

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Commentary:
"I like warm weather, but just enough to melt my worries away, not my face 🌞🤯 #HotMessExpress"

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Commentary:
"Who needs company when you've got a delicious pizza by your side? 🍕👫 Solo pizza parties are where it's at! Just me, myself, and pepperoni. #PizzaOverPeople"

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive species known as the 'knowledgeable human.' 🧐 They're like mythical unicorns in a world of confused chickens. 🐔 Here's to surrounding ourselves with real-life Google search bars! 💡🔍"

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the dessert critics strike again, demanding their sweets to be less sweet just to keep things, you know, interesting 🍰😂 It's a fine line between tasty and toothache-inducing, but these oddballs are on a mission to find that perfect balance! More power to them! 👏👀"

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect blend of mystery and buzz! 🕵️‍♂️☕️ Just be sure not to spill the beans… or the booze! 🤫🍸"