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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Making waves on YouTube:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Spotted on Reddit:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Making waves on Facebook:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Spotted on Telegram:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Just landed via Instagram:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Trending via Slack:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Funny previous quotes

Funny previous quotes bring a burst of laughter 😄 and a dash of nostalgia 📜 to brighten your day! Whether you’re looking for witty comebacks or clever one-liners, these gems never fail to tickle your funny bone 😂. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your captions, get ready to dive into a world where humor meets history 🌟!

New funny previous quotes 👇

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

5 days ago

ahead, ahead of time, generation, generations, having, humor, i, less, people, person, previous, sex, show, study, time, young, young person
Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

1 week ago

career, career change, change, experience, humor, i, interviewer, job, job search, learn, me, need, new, new job, previous, search, work, work experience
I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

2 weeks ago

agree, broke, employment, equality, generation, good, humor, i, job, jobs, love, misconception, people, previous, society, stereotypes, tattoo, work
In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

2 weeks ago

animals, ever, going, home, humor, i, life, longing, nostalgia, pigeon, previous, previous life, think, travel

All funny previous quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

89 shares on X this month:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

81 shares on Threads this month:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

25 shares on Discord this month:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Breaking via WeChat:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Trending via Messenger:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Making waves on Telegram:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Spotted on X:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Trending via Threads:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Just shared via WeChat:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

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