Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Making waves on Facebook:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Spotted on Reddit:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Seen just now on Threads:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

45 Funny reply quotes

Funny reply quotes 😂 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to any conversation 💬! Whether you’re spicing up a group chat 👫 or crafting the perfect comeback 🗨️, these witty gems are sure to leave everyone in stitches 🤣. Dive into a world where laughter reigns supreme, and every reply is a chance to unleash your inner comedian 🎭. Get ready to tickle some funny bones! 🎉

New funny reply quotes 👇

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

8 hours ago

again, communication, dog, God, hear, humor, i, quick, quick reply, relationship, reply, wait, waiting
You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

9 hours ago

able, button, communication, email, humor, like button, media, productivity, reply, replying, should, social, social media, technology
I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

12 hours ago

communication, humor, i, message, ok, paragraphs, recommend, recommendation, reply, saying, short, short reply, texting
Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

20 hours ago

asking, communication, death, decision making, dinner, humor, just, love, marriage, question, relationship, reply, replying, spouse, us, want
“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

21 hours ago

am, communication, excuse, humor, i, just, message, messages, never, okay, person, reply, texting, understaffed
Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

1 day ago

around, communication, email, every, frustration, humor, life, mess, message, office, office life, problem, reply, sarcasm, sounds, today, work, work email
An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

1 day ago

attractive, check, communication, DM, easy, flirting, humor, media, message, reply, send, social, social media
Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

1 day ago

bother, communication, debt, humor, late, late reply, love, me, money, patience, relationship, reply, take, time
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

1 day ago

communication, guys, i, just, last, late, late reply, message, night, reply, restaurant, saw, socializing, sorry, still, text, text message
Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

1 week ago

apology, back, communication, flirting, hand, humor, i, instant, instant reply, mature, maturity, phone, relationship, reply, sorry, texting

For even more funny reply quotes, hit next 👇

All funny reply quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

88 shares on X this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Next to nothing is a weird place.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Making waves on Threads:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Going viral on Twitch:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Shared recently on Slack:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Shared recently on X:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴