18 Funny retirement quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

  Commentary:
  "Petition to lower the retirement age. I'm tired now. 💤 Who needs to wait for the golden years when you've already hit bronze, right? 😂 Time to trade in the alarms for afternoon naps! 💼➡️😴 #RetirementDreams"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

  Commentary:
  "Well, who needs a significant other when you can have a significant savings account, am I right? 💰🤷‍♂️ Retirement plan: 1, Relationships: 0. #PrioritiesInCheck"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's banking on their vocal talents to sleigh the retirement game! 🎤🎅 Who needs a 401(k) when you've got jingle bells and high notes to back you up? 🎶😄 #RockinAroundTheRetirementPlan"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

  Commentary:
  🤑💸💭 Bank: "Is your 401k enough to retire on?" Me: "You are my bank, you know it's not." 😅💸💼 Sounds like the bank needs to work on their optimism game!

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

  Commentary:
  "By the time you hit your 80s, you'll be running for Congress… literally! 🏃‍♂️💨 Who says you can't be a political powerhouse in your golden years? Time to show those young guns what experience and a good pair of running shoes can do! 🌟 #SeniorCitizenInCongress"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a boring 401(k) when you've got a treasure map and a sense of adventure?! 🗺️💰 Retirement goals set to 'X marks the spot' level! ⛏️✨#PirateLife"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

  Commentary:
  "When you show someone the year they can retire, it's like forcing them to gaze into the abyss of adulthood and mortality 😱💸💼 Retirement age: the scariest bedtime story ever told!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like you've mastered the art of tiredness – retired today, re-tired tomorrow! 😂💤"

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