Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Commentary:
"Dear liars, may your pants be so constantly ablaze that you start your own line of 'hot' couture fashion. Just be sure to have a fire extinguisher handy for any unexpected runway mishaps!"

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Commentary:
"Notifications: Because even your phone knows you need constant validation."

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Commentary:
Oh, sweetheart, if billionaires had your best interests at heart, they'd be sending you care packages with solid gold snacks! 🤑💔 #TrustIssues