Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Live now on WeChat:

Stretching isn’t enough, I need to be able to disassemble my body like legos.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Making waves on YouTube:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Just landed via TikTok:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Shared recently on Threads:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Home » Funny Slow Child Quotes

Funny slow child quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Shared recently on Threads:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Just shared via TikTok:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Shared recently on Slack:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Spotted on Facebook:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

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