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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Making waves on Instagram:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I only drink when I people.

Spotted on TikTok:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Making waves on YouTube:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Just shared via Reddit:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Funny slut-shame quotes

New funny slut-shame quotes 👇

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

1 month ago

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All funny slut-shame quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

99 shares on X this month:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

14 shares on X this month:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Spotted on Reddit:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Making waves on Instagram:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Just shared via Facebook:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Spotted on YouTube:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Just shared via Twitch:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Going viral on WeChat:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Trending via Instagram:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

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Funny slut-shame quotes

New funny slut-shame quotes 👇

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

All funny slut-shame quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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