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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has viewed:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has shared:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has copied:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has viewed:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

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814 added this month

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10,976

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13,917

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10,976

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Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Breaking via Twitch:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Just shared via WeChat:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Uber Eats β€œyou forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has viewed:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has shared:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has copied:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has viewed:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has copied:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Just shared via Instagram:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Trending via Messenger:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Trending via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Shared recently on Slack:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Going viral on Slack:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

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