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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,237

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Just landed via Telegram:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Going viral on TikTok:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Going viral on TikTok:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Trending via Discord:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Going viral on TikTok:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Funny stool quotes

Funny stool quotes bring a cheeky twist to everyday bathroom moments 🚽😂 Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or add some humor to your space, these witty sayings are sure to make you grin 😄💩 From clever puns to playful jabs, they turn the humble stool into a source of endless laughs 🎉✨ Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your day!

New funny stool quotes 👇

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

0

2 months ago

cow, humor, joke, legs, stool, three, three legs, udder

Someone from 🇦🇬 has recently bookmarked this quote.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month.
It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

0

2 months ago

back, balance, chair, comical, funny moment, humor, i, lean, moment, realize, seating, stool, surprise

Someone from 🇲🇺 has recently copied this quote.

25 shares on Discord this month.
Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

0

2 months ago

bartender, context, difference, drinking, humor, job, job difference, loose, loose stool, means, medical, nurse, profession, stool, things

Someone from 🇺🇸 has recently copied this quote.

92 shares on X this month.

All funny stool quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Telegram this month:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

50 shares on X this month:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

59 shares on Threads this month:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

21 shares on TikTok this month:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

35 shares on Discord this month:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Live now on Twitch:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Just shared via Telegram:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Spotted on Telegram:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

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