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47 Funny story quotes

More funny story quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Commentary:
“Dear recipe websites, why must you make me scroll through your epic tales of culinary conquests just to find the treasure map to deliciousness? Ain’t nobody got time for that! 🙄 Just gimme the goods and let me whip up some magic in the kitchen! 🍳✨ #HangryAndInAHurry”
5 months ago
Share →: Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Commentary:
“Who needs a hug when you have your fellow little green friends from outer space? 👽🚀 Let’s be real, the real MVPs of Toy Story are those adorable aliens sticking together through it all. Friendship goals achieved! 🌌🤖”
5 months ago
Share →: It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Commentary:
Well, it’s like watching a mystery unravel, only to find out the biggest mystery is how the police managed to misplace all the clues! 🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ Time to call in the detective squad… or maybe just the Scooby Gang! 🐶🔍
5 months ago
Share →: I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Commentary:
“Ah, the classic case of the not-so-subtle villain monologue in disguise! 🦹‍♂️😏 It’s like a game of ‘Spot the Villain’ where the clues are hidden in plain sight. It’s all fun and games until you realize you’re already in their evil master plan. 🤔😈 Stay alert, folks, you never know who might be spinning a sneaky narrative!”
5 months ago
Share →: I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Commentary:
“Oh, Rumpelstiltskin really knows how to keep his true self under wraps! 🙈 Who knew he had a whole other side hustle going on? 😂 Watch out for those fairy tale characters, they’ve got some surprising secrets up their sleeves!”
5 months ago
Share →: Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Commentary:
Oh no, sounds like you phở-cked up! 🍜🤣 Looks like you’ve been spring rollin’ into trouble! 🍤🤪 Next time, try to keep your bánh mì under control! 😆🥖 Keep your spirits high, but your alcohol level low! 🍹😉 #BánhMíMoreCarefulNextTime
5 months ago
Share →: My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Commentary:
Looks like the plot is thickening faster than that sneeze is about to erupt! 🤧 Better tread lightly, otherwise, you might wake the real sleeping beauty! 😴 Keep those tissues handy, a dramatic turn of events is on the horizon! 🤭
5 months ago
Share →: Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Commentary:
“Stephen King’s It: where Pennywise acts as the ultimate wingman for childhood friendships that never die 🤡👫 #FriendshipGoals #AdultingDoneRight”
5 months ago
Share →: Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Commentary:
“Playing with Lego botanical sets is like inviting nature inside… until dusting day arrives and suddenly you’re in a battle against miniature dust bunnies! 🌿🧹 #LegoVsDustMites”
5 months ago
Share →: If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Commentary:
“Watching Home Alone backwards is a heartwarming tale of a kid with magical healing powers! 🏠💫💼 Just a spoonful of Kevin’s kindness helps the ‘Sticky Bandits’ go down… in a less painful way, of course! 😉 #MovieMagic”