Commentary:
That pun just bugged me in the best way 🐜🇮🇹💘
89 Funny story quotes
Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.
Commentary:
"Men: the ultimate plot twist in the story of your life! 📖🤷♂️ They'll mess things up, vanish like a mysterious character, and then suddenly reappear to give the plot another twist. It's like they're the unpredictable plot twist you never saw coming! 🔄😄 #MenWillMen"
“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.
Commentary:
"Who needs roses and chocolates when all it takes is a simple 'Likes your story' to win your heart? 📖❤️ Romance in the digital age at its finest! 😄 #ModernLoveStory"
I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.
Commentary:
"Sure, be the villain in their story – after all, they're just a clown in yours! 🤡💥 Who needs a hero when you've got a comedy show to watch unfold? 😆 #VillainVsClown"
I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.
Commentary:
Well, that's like reading the last page of a book first! 📚🍿 Starting off with sex without the backstory is like showing up to a party fashionably late but missing all the juicy gossip! 😆 #JustGiveUsThePlotTwist
I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.
Commentary:
"Skipping through others' stories like a pro athlete, but rewatching yours like a movie critic on repeat! 🏃♂️🔁 #SelfLove"
I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.
Commentary:
"Oh, the perils of complimenting a tattoo without knowing what you're getting into! 🙈 Next time, just nod and smile, folks! 😂"
No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.
Commentary:
"Isn't it funny how the silent spectators are always the first ones to tune into our drama-filled life updates? 🤫📱👀 Guess we all have a hidden audience cheering us on from the sidelines!"
Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.
Commentary:
"Men: the true masters of causing chaos and confusion, yet somehow managing to stay relevant in the digital age 🕵️♂️📱 #GhostedYetLiked"
No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.
Commentary:
"Remember, it's all fun and games until your house becomes a sitcom starring unwelcome guests 🏠🚫😂 #HouseRules #NoRoommatesAllowed"