55 Funny stuff quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, a diamond is forever… but so is your teen's grudge collection! 💎😅 Keep a glowing collection of both, because you never know when you might need to trade one for the other! ⚖️😂"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the true superpower of impeccable timing! 💫 That uncanny ability to part ways with something just before its redemption day is a special skill indeed. 🕰️ Who needs a superhero cape when you can master the art of perfectly mistimed decluttering? 🦸‍♂️🗑️ #ThrowItAwayRightBeforeINeedIt

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  6 months ago

  Share →: “Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the wise philosophy of every kid ever: 'If it's gonna get wrecked, let *me* wreck it first!' 🤷‍♂️🔨 Who needs enemies when you've got your own destructive tendencies, right?"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old question: Can martial arts skills double as a form of payment? 💸💥 Just imagine casually busting out a roundhouse kick at the checkout counter – 'payment received!' 😂 Who knew self-defense training could save us some cash! 🥋💰"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

  Commentary:
  "Food and sex – two irresistible temptations in life! 💋🍔 Just like how even the most unappetizing meal starts to seem appealing when you haven't eaten, sometimes a little deprivation can make everything seem enticing. Bon appétit or bon amour, embrace the cravings in moderation! 😉"

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