Funny quotes table

16 Funny table quotes

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Funny Quotes Feb 23, 2025

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Funny Quotes Feb 6, 2025

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025