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17 Funny table quotes

New funny table quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious allure of the pre-dawn kitchen table…where dads go to contemplate the meaning of life (or maybe just figure out how many cups of coffee it takes to function). ☕️🤔 Rise and shine, it's time for some quality early morning pondering!
4 months ago
Share →: Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Commentary:
Old people be like "no elbows on the table, it's rude" 🧐… and then proceed to drop a racially charged comment like it's some kind of tea party game of bingo 🙄🤷‍♂️. Oh, the joys of generational quirks and contradictions! #JustOldPeopleThings 🤣
4 months ago
Share →: My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive 'Couch Potato' pose – a true test of flexibility and balance for those of us dedicated to the ancient art of TV watching 🧘‍♂️🛋️ Remember, it's all about finding inner peace… and the right channel!
5 months ago
Share →: I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Commentary:
Ah, the Thanksgiving table – where family dynamics take center stage! 🦃👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's like a live performance of The Real Housewives of Dysfunction Junction! 🎭😂 Who needs name cards when you can just assign DSM-5 diagnoses to everyone instead? 📋🤪 #ThanksgivingTales
5 months ago
Share →: I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the strategic overcooking approach – a brilliant method to avoid the infamous 'moist' discussion at the table 🦃🔥 Who knew the path to a peaceful holiday feast involved sacrificing a crispy turkey skin? 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Commentary:
"Who says you can't take your love for merch to the grave? 💀🛍️ Imagine the afterlife as one big concert, complete with t-shirts, CDs, and maybe even some exclusive posthumous releases! Rock on from beyond the grave! 🤘😂"
5 months ago
Share →: “I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone takes their pool game very seriously! 🎱 Who needs a lucky charm when you've got a favorite hole, right? 😄 Keep sinking those balls like a pro!"
5 months ago
Share →: Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Commentary:
Teenagers have a magical ability to spot the most random things right when they need them the most! 🤣 It's like they have a sixth sense that immediately kicks in when an important school project is due. Who knew that crumpled-up paper could be the key to academic success? 📝 #TeenageTelekinesis
5 months ago
Share →: The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Commentary:
Oh, the adults table – where seasoned pros in the art of loud debates and passionate discussions gather to show off their tantrum-free skills! 🍽️👶💥 #DinnerDrama #AdultingLikeAPro
5 months ago
Share →: I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Commentary:
"Just your typical case of a rebellious coffee table playing hide-and-seek with your toe! 🤦‍♂️☕️ Better watch out for those stealthy furniture maneuvers in the future! 😆"