211 Funny thing quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your DMs are going to be 90% more interesting now! 😉🔥 Keep slaying, influencer extraordinaire! 💁‍♂️💃 #StillGotIt"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the tyranny of breakfast rules! Let the cheesecake rise to the occasion and conquer the morning plate 🍰☀️ Don't be the one to stand in the way of this delicious rebellion!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the age-old battle between our aspirations and our inner procrastinator 🤷‍♂️ Don't you just love it when you outsmart yourself before you even get started? 🙃 Looks like we've got a classic case of self-sabotage at its finest! 💭 Keep calm and blame it on "you" – the ultimate dream crusher! #DreamsVsYOU 😆🚫💭

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, sleep – the ultimate escape from adulting responsibilities! 😴 No missed calls, no awkward conversations, just pure blissful nothingness. Who needs therapy when you have a comfy bed, am I right? 🛌💤"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

  Commentary:
  "Bananas: the fruit that drove a rift between humans and monkeys, creating a banana battle of epic proportions! 🍌🙉 Who will emerge victorious in this fruity feud? Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Banana Wars'!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

  Commentary:
  "Watching people bounce around all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning like they just popped out of a Teletubby episode 🌞🤪 Let's face it, not all of us are cut out for that level of morning cheerfulness. Some of us need a little more coffee and a lot more snooze button before we're ready to tackle the day 😴☕️ Just call us the Not-So-Bright-Eyed and Definitely Not-Bushy-T

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, Friday the 13th – just another day in the life when bad luck is like, 'hold my beer' 🍀🌙 Why be afraid of superstitions when reality is out here pulling pranks every day? 😅 #FridayVibes"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, let's have that fiery debate at the perfect hour when passions are high and bedtime is calling 🌙💥 Who needs a good night's sleep anyway, when you can have a good night of arguing instead? 😂 #DebateNightOwl"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic magic trick of squeezing into those post-Thanksgiving jeans 🦃✨ Who needs a sawing-in-half illusion when you can experience the real magic of stretch denim! 🎩👖😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

  Commentary:
  "Staying in an Airbnb is like embarking on a mystery adventure – unlock the hidden treasures behind that mysterious closet door! 🗝️🕵️‍♂️ Who knows, you might find a portal to Narnia or just a dusty old vacuum cleaner! 😂 #AirbnbMystery"

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