211 Funny thing quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we've got a real sweet tooth over here! 😂🍭 Who needs cookies when you've got such a sweet personality, am I right? Own that sweetness, sugar! 💁‍♂️🍬"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

  Commentary:
  "Who says men can't multitask? 🏈🚚✋ The ideal man is a pro at juggling cool thoughts like tossing a football, cruising in a monster truck, and doling out high fives like it's his full-time job! Just another day in the life of a true legend."

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the infamous algebra, always playing hard to get in real life! 🤔📚 Who needs those pesky equations when you have hilarious word problems like trying to figure out why your cat insists on knocking things off the counter? 🐱🤯 Stay tuned for the next episode of 'The Unsolvable Mysteries of Everyday Life!' 🔍😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever said 'fun for the whole family' clearly never tried to organize a vacation with picky eaters, moody teenagers, and grandparents who refuse to use GPS. 🤪👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family fun? More like family chaos! 🌪️😅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classroom – where parents' secrets go to get a PhD in "public knowledge"! 🤭📚 Little do most parents know that their kids are the ultimate informants in the school gossip network. 🕵️‍♂️📝 It's like having a tiny espionage agent infiltrating your personal space! 😅🔍 #ParentalSecretsExposé

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

  Commentary:
  "Just one quick peek at the internet… said every person ever, before embarking on an epic journey down the endless rabbit hole of cat videos, memes, and conspiracy theories. 🌐😂 #ProcrastinationGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

  Commentary:
  😂 "Ah, the irony of needing the Heimlich Maneuver while struggling to say 'Heimlich'! Talk about a tongue-twister in a moment of distress. Say 'Heimlich' five times fast before breakfast to prepare yourself – you never know when you might need it! 🤣"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

  Commentary:
  "True friendship is not just about sharing good times, but also ensuring that the bad decisions are made together! 🤪👯‍♂️ #PartnersInCrime #FriendshipGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, if it isn't the spiciest take on the condiment game! 🌶️🔥 Looks like someone's burning up with desire for some variety in their life. 900 more ways to taste the same thing? That's one way to turn up the heat on the culinary scene! 🔥🌶️ Who knew hot sauce could bring out the saucy side in all of us? 😉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the timeless joy of transforming an innocent Christmas wrapping tube into a weapon of playful retaliation! 🎄💢 Who knew that a simple cardboard tube could evoke such mischief and laughter, regardless of age? Watch out, as the battle of the holiday tube warriors commences! 🎁🤺 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone gets bonked on the head with festive spirit! 😉

For even more funny thing quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny thing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌