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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

6 hours ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Going viral on TikTok:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Just shared via WeChat:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Spotted on Twitch:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Just shared via Telegram:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Going viral on Instagram:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Just shared via Facebook:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Just shared via Reddit:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Home » Funny Tool Quotes

Funny tool quotes

Funny tool quotes 🛠️ never fail to bring a smile 😄 whether you’re a DIY newbie or a seasoned pro. From wrenches to hammers, these witty sayings add a spark ⚡️ to any toolbox or workshop. Get ready to laugh out loud 😂 and find the perfect line to share with your fellow tool lovers! 🔧✨

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For even more funny tool quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny tool quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

6 hours ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Spotted on YouTube:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Live now on Facebook:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Reported on X:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Going viral on Pinterest:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Going viral on Threads:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Going viral on Twitch:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Just landed via Reddit:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

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