Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Going viral on TikTok:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Breaking via Threads:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Just landed via Twitch:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Just landed via Reddit:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Trending via Facebook:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Funny torture quotes

Funny torture quotes turn the dark and dreadful into hilarious moments that make you laugh instead of cringe 😂🕵️‍♂️ Whether poking fun at awkward situations or exaggerating everyday struggles, these witty lines bring a lighthearted twist to the unbearable 🤪🔥 Ready to torture your funny bone instead of your patience? Let’s dive into some cheeky humor that’s all about laughs, not pain! 😆💥

New funny torture quotes 👇

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

0

1 week ago

bet, couple, feels, humor, i, incredible, irony, medieval, pain, rack, relief, seconds, sensation, stretcher, torture, where
In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

0

2 months ago

actually, cotton, Cotton Eye Joe, eternal, eternal loop, eye, fire, heat, hell, humor, irony, joe, loop, music, pleasant, punishment, repetition, song, torture
Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

0

2 months ago

complaint, hours, humor, job, just, office, show, sometimes, stress, torture, work
My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

0

2 months ago

country, country music, dental, dental visit, dentist, double, humor, music, music preference, pain, preference, torture, visit
Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, poet, poetry, read, reading, thinking, torture

All funny torture quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

87 shares on X this month:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

99 shares on Twitch this month:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Trending via Snapchat:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Just landed via Twitch:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Spotted on TikTok:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Seen just now on Discord:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Going bananas on TikTok:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

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