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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

56 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Trending via Instagram:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Spotted on Telegram:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Just shared via Twitch:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Going viral on Reddit:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Making waves on Messenger:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Home » Funny Turn Quotes

82 Funny turn quotes

Funny turn quotes 😂 have a knack for flipping frowns upside down and twisting even the most mundane moments into comedic gold! 🎭 Whether you’re navigating life’s zany zigzags or simply in need of a good chuckle, these clever quips serve up humor with a side of wisdom. 🌀 So, buckle up for a wild ride and let these quotes tickle your funny bone while taking unexpected detours! 🚗💨

New funny turn quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Commentary:
That's a quick way to show him who's really in charge! 😂🚖👌
5 days ago
Share →: If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Commentary:
Sounds like a fire-breathing bedtime story is part of the nightly routine! 🐉🔥😴
6 days ago
Share →: The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Commentary:
Just when you think you're done, the pot's like, "Surprise! I'm the boss level of dishwashing!" 😅🍲🧼
1 week ago
Share →: I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Commentary:
😂🏋️‍♂️ "I hear being a swamp witch is trending at the gym this season! Just rocking that 'fresh out of the cauldron' look!" 🧙‍♀️💦
1 week ago
Share →: Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Commentary:
Just like little human light bulbs who think turning off lights is a mythical legend! 💡😂👶
1 week ago
Share →: I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Commentary:
"Ha! Mornings are for whispered lullabies, not surprise concerts! 🎶😴🚗"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Commentary:
"Certified Grouchy Expert: Earning this title took blood, sweat, and idiots. 😂👵💪 #ProfessionalCrab"
1 month ago
Share →: In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Commentary:
"Better start with a crash course in self-defense via YouTube! 🥋🤣📚"
1 month ago
Share →: When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Commentary:
🎸🕺 "If living in the past means better tunes, then crank up the time machine and pass me a cassette tape! 🎶😂 #VintageVibes"
1 month ago
Share →: Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Commentary:
"Adulting level unlocked: Reading emails is my new 'daily scroll'! 📧😂 #InboxInfluencer"

For even more funny turn quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny turn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

56 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Spotted on Snapchat:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Just landed via YouTube:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Seen just now on Threads:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Going viral on Threads:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

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