113 funny turn quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

May 22, 2026

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

May 22, 2026

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

May 22, 2026

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

May 21, 2026

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

May 21, 2026

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

May 21, 2026

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

May 21, 2026

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

May 21, 2026

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

May 21, 2026

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

May 21, 2026

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

May 21, 2026

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

May 21, 2026

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

May 21, 2026

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

May 21, 2026

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

May 21, 2026

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

May 20, 2026

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

May 20, 2026

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

May 20, 2026

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

May 20, 2026

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

May 20, 2026

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

May 20, 2026

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

May 20, 2026

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

May 20, 2026

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

May 20, 2026

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

May 20, 2026

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

May 19, 2026

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

May 19, 2026

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

May 19, 2026

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

May 19, 2026

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

May 19, 2026

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

May 19, 2026

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

May 19, 2026

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

May 19, 2026