Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Going viral on Telegram:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Making waves on Threads:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Live now on Facebook:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Shared recently on Discord:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Live now on WeChat:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Live now on Threads:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Seen just now on Threads:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Funny tween quotes

Funny tween quotes bring a hilarious twist to the everyday adventures of preteens! 😂 From awkward moments to clever comebacks, these gems capture the wild and wacky world of growing up. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or tween yourself, get ready to laugh out loud and relate to the funniest thoughts bubbling up during those unforgettable tween years! 🎉🤪✨

New funny tween quotes 👇

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

0

2 months ago

communication, cringe, humor, i, life, lit, parenting, slang, stop, super, sus, teenager, tween

Someone from 🇲🇰 has recently bookmarked this quote.

99 shares on X this month.
Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

0

2 months ago

achievement, class, eye, eye roll, graduation, humor, parenting, roll, sarcasm, top, tween, university

Someone from 🇳🇷 has recently shared this quote.

43 shares on Discord this month.

All funny tween quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Slack this month:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

41 shares on Discord this month:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

56 shares on Slack this month:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Trending via Slack:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Going viral on Messenger:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Just landed via YouTube:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Seen just now on Threads:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Just landed via Slack:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

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