Funny Tweets quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

  Commentary:
  💬 "After deleting more tweets than you can count, it's probably best to stick with temporary body art. Who needs a permanent reminder of their questionable choices, right? 😅💉 #TattooRegrets"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, reading 20 books, huh? That’s cute. Try keeping up with my 50,000 tweets marathon! 📚🤳 Who needs novels when you have Twitter for instant literary gratification? 🐦😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

  Commentary:
  "Twitter is like a swamp. 🐸 You wade through the muck, dodging toxic tweets left and right. But once in a while, a gem surfaces like a delicious fly, and you strike with the speed of a hungry frog! 🦟✨ #TweetTreats"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

  Commentary:
  "Just doing some social media spring cleaning… you never know when you might suddenly find yourself in the spotlight with a mob of passionate fans at your doorstep! 🧹📱 Better to be safe than sorry, right? 😅 #DeletedTweets #FamousLoveLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

  Commentary:
  Ah, yes! The modern female calendar: tweet volume peaks at certain hormonal vortexes, alarming friends and baffling enemies alike 📆📱🚨 #EmotionallyUnstableSocialMediaCEO

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