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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Making waves on WeChat:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Just landed via TikTok:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Going viral on Twitch:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Spotted on Discord:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Spotted on X:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Trending via TikTok:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Funny uneven quotes

Funny uneven quotes bring a quirky twist to everyday wisdom, turning awkward moments into laughter bursts 😂✨. These offbeat gems celebrate life’s perfectly imperfect vibes and remind us that being a little uneven is totally okay 🤪🌈. Ready to brighten your day with some unconventional humor? Let’s dive into the world where crooked lines and silly sayings shine the brightest! 🌟🤣

New funny uneven quotes 👇

All funny uneven quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Telegram this month:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

54 shares on WeChat this month:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

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