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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Spotted on Threads:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Shared recently on Telegram:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Going viral on Instagram:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Just landed via Facebook:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Reported on Telegram:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Spotted on Threads:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Trending via Instagram:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Live now on Slack:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Just shared via Discord:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Just landed via Twitch:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Just shared via YouTube:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Going viral on Slack:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Spotted on Threads:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

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