Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

67 Funny waiting quotes

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

3 months ago

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

3 months ago

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

3 months ago

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

3 months ago

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

3 months ago

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

3 months ago

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

3 months ago

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

3 months ago

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

3 months ago

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

3 months ago

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

3 months ago

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

3 months ago

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

3 months ago

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

3 months ago

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

3 months ago

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

3 months ago

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

3 months ago

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

3 months ago

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

3 months ago

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

3 months ago