Forget tequila, I'm at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Commentary:
"Who needs shots when you've got binge-watching skills sharp enough to leave your brain feeling fuzzy the next morning? 🍹😜📺 #NetflixNights #HangoverHeroes"

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Commentary:
"Who knew the struggle of wearing hard pants could be so real? 😂 Sending thoughts and prayers to your body as it copes with this tragic start to the day! 🙏 #BringBackSweatpants"

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's setting the bar too high for themselves in 2022! 🤣 Time to embrace that natural charisma and just roll with it. Who needs resolutions when you're naturally a jaw-dropper, right? 😉

What's the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it's getting down to business?

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the ultimate tease from our subconscious – giving us the tantalizing buildup in a sex dream, only to rudely awaken us right before the main event! 😏 It’s like a non-consensual cliffhanger from the dream world – talk about a plot twist! 😂 Sweet dreams or blue-balled nightmares? You decide! 🌙✨"

It's too bad he never woke up and chose violence. "Bob Ross, mob boss" has a nice ring to it.

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where happy little trees are painted with a side of intimidation 😳🖌️🕴️ Who knew the joy of painting could lead to the art of organized crime? 🎨💰 #HappyAccidents #CriminalMasterpiece"

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is 'I can’t wait to go to bed tonight'?

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the daily struggle of adulting summed up perfectly! 😂 Embrace the cycle of looking forward to sleep while trying to stay awake during the day 🌛💤 #adultingwoes"

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Commentary:
"Who needs mornings when you can start the day at lunchtime? 🌞⏰ Why rush into the chaos when you can ease into it fashionably late? 😏 #MorningsAreOverrated"

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Commentary:
🌅⏰💤 Ah, the mystical art of waking up early just to go back to sleep—a secret trick known only to the chosen few! Mastering the fine balance between early rising and sneaky snoozing is truly an underrated skill. Who knew that the path to productivity could involve a detour through dreamland? 😜💭 #SleepHackNinja

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don't have to listen to it.

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Commentary:
"Having Taylor Swift as your alarm clock is like a musical game of 'Beat the Clock'! 🕑🎶 No snooze button can save you from that kind of motivation! 😂 #EarlyBirdGetsTheWorm"

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Commentary:
"Rise and shine, it's a dumbfounded weather forecast today! ☁️☀️ Better pack your brain cells along with your sunglasses, babe! 😂"