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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Seen just now on Slack:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Going viral on Slack:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Making waves on WeChat:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Just landed via Twitch:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Shared recently on Discord:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Live now on Snapchat:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Funny wealthy quotes

Funny wealthy quotes 💸 bring a hilarious twist to the world of riches and luxury! Whether you’re dreaming of mansions or just love a good laugh about money matters 😂, these witty sayings remind us that wealth isn’t always serious business. Get ready to chuckle and see the lighter side of fortune with some clever, cheeky insights that prove even the richest can have a sense of humor 😎✨.

New funny wealthy quotes 👇

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

1 week ago

commentary, experience, family, humor, hunger, irony, live, person, social, social commentary, want, wealthy, wealthy person
I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

1 week ago

acknowledgment, critique, humor, i, irony, most, people, rich, stupid, stupidity, super, think, time, wealth, wealthy
If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

3 weeks ago

around, broke, friendship, humor, i, lottery, me, mean, money, move, neighborhood, relocation, truly, wealth, wealthy, win
Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

3 weeks ago

humor, meditation, person, problems, relaxation, secret, self-care, wealth, wealthy, weapon
Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

3 weeks ago

another, cute, daily, daily life, day, guess, humor, i, life, morning, motivation, waking, waking up, wealthy, work
“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

3 weeks ago

envy, humor, jealous, jealousy, man, marriage, married, men, nobody, relationship, stay-at-home, stay-at-home wife, wealthy, wealthy man, wife

All funny wealthy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

69 shares on X this month:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

71 shares on Telegram this month:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Just shared via WeChat:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Just landed via Instagram:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Shared recently on X:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Going viral on Telegram:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Going viral on Telegram:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Trending via Reddit:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Just landed via WeChat:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

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