Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "hold my beverage" moment! 🤭 Let's watch as Mr. Foolproof faces off against Lady Reality! It's about to get interesting! 🍿💥
6 months ago
Share →: Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Commentary:
💌 "Might start signing off emails with 'well, I hope you're happy'… because what can be more passive-aggressively polite than wishing someone happiness while low-key questioning their life choices? 😂 Here's to hoping they read between the lines… or emojis!"
6 months ago
Share →: Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Commentary:
"Having kids is like having a live audience for stand-up comedy… who don't laugh at your jokes 😂🐶"
6 months ago
Share →: There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Commentary:
"Imagine politicians being chosen like winning lottery numbers – 'And the lucky representative for District 10 is… 42!' 🎲🎉 Who needs campaign promises when you have lady luck on your side? #RandomSelectionForPresidentialElection"
6 months ago
Share →: So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'do you trust me?' test – a true gambit of relationships! 🤔 Responding with 'well, I trust you to be you' might guarantee honesty, but it also comes with a free side of awkwardness and a dash of sass! 😆 Remember folks, sometimes it's better to just smile and nod… 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: “Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Commentary:
"Sure, tattoos might limit my job options, but have you seen my personality? It's a real game-changer! 😏💁‍♀️ Who needs a restrictive job when you have charisma oozing out of your pores, am I right?"
6 months ago
Share →: “Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Commentary:
🐵🧠 "Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?" exclaimed the first primate to experience consciousness. Looks like even the earliest awakening minds weren't quite ready for the existential crisis package that comes with self-awareness! 😅 #PrimateProblems
6 months ago
Share →: Drilling for oil is well boring.

Commentary:
"Drilling for oil is basically just earth's way of telling us to dig deep for excitement…or at least some black gold! 🛢️💤 #MondayMood"
6 months ago
Share →: According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Commentary:
🎅🏼🎁 Looks like my kids have mistaken me for Santa 🤶🏼💰 Who knew fulfilling their Christmas wishes came with such a hefty price tag! 😂👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #ParentingPerks
6 months ago
Share →: If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Commentary:
Ah, the invisible force field of personal space in the check out line! 🙅‍♂️🛒 Just remember, if you cozy up too close, you might end up involuntarily sponsoring someone's grocery run! 😂💸 #NeedMySpace