Funny quotes woman

46 Funny woman quotes

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Funny Quotes Mar 9, 2025

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Funny Quotes Feb 23, 2025

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Funny Quotes Feb 17, 2025

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025