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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 15821 this month

15,821 funny quotes and pics

17,819 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 30, 2026

 

 

 

 

143 Funny woman quotes

Funny woman quotes 😂 are the secret sauce to lightening up your day! Whether you’re in need of a good laugh or seeking inspiration with a twist, these witty gems 🤪 can bring a smile to your face. Packed with humor and a dash of sass 💁‍♀️, they’re perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your social feed. Get ready to giggle, chuckle, and maybe even snort 🤭 with these delightful quips!

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Posted onMay 28, 2026

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Posted onMay 27, 2026

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

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