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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has viewed:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has shared:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

I gotta ask, what part of β€˜I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Facebook:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Trending via Discord:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Shared recently on Slack:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Just shared via Instagram:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Making waves on Facebook:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.
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Commentary:
Looks like someone's mind wandered off without leaving a trail…πŸ€‘πŸοΈ Keep searching for that elusive money, it might be on a vacation of its own! πŸ’ΈπŸ” Remember, a little humor goes a long way in the search for missing funds!

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

β€œWhat’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

100% of all babΡ–es are unemployed. PathetΡ–c.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

β€œI have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

38 shares on X this month:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Blink if you want me!

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has shared:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has shared:

Getting to the age where I’m like, β€œOh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has copied:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has viewed:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has copied:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has shared:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has shared:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on WeChat:

β€œI’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Making waves on Messenger:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

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