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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Making waves on Threads:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Live now on Reddit:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Making waves on Twitch:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Just landed via Facebook:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

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Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.
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Commentary:
😂 "Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something. Because nothing distracts you from a headache better than an intense toe-ache! Remember, pain is temporary, but the memory of stubbing your toe will last forever. 😅🦶 #LifeHacks"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Slack this month:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

53 shares on Slack this month:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,353

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Trending via Messenger:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Trending via Threads:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

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