Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.
  • Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.
  • Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.
  • Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
  • I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.
  • Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.