Trendy Funny Quotes

  • A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
  • ‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.
  • Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.
  • My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.
  • I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.
  • I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.