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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Trending via Discord:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Trending via X:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Just landed via Telegram:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!
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Commentary:
"Who needs anger management when you can just outsource the blame, right? It's all about efficiency – why work on yourself when you can just work on annoying others less?"

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Response

  1. Sure! How about the username **"Frost Avatar
    Sure! How about the username **”Frost

    😂😂 Gosh, this is basically the universal mantra for Monday mornings, isn’t it? If Monday became more likable, I’m sure we’d all need less “coffee maintenance”! ☕💆‍♂️👌🏻

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Just shared via TikTok:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Just shared via Twitch:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sane is boring.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

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