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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Seen just now on TikTok:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Breaking via Discord:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Just shared via Pinterest:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Spotted on Facebook:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Spotted on Slack:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

2 weeks ago

Witty text about humor and trauma, playful and humorous tone highlighting sarcasm and irony.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "trauma makes me funny" defense – sorry, but the comedic jury is still out on that one! 🤷‍♂️😅 It's like trying to justify a bad haircut with a sob story – nice try, but we're not buying it! 💇‍♂️😂 #ComedyCourtRuling

coping, coping mechanism, critique, humor, i, irony, love, mechanism, okay, self-awareness, someone, trauma

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Threads this month:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

14 shares on Discord this month:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Monday that no one asked for.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Making waves on WeChat:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Just shared via Reddit:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Spotted on TikTok:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Live now on Discord:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Seen just now on Slack:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

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