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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,823

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Trending via TikTok:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Spotted on WeChat:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Going viral on YouTube:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Making waves on WeChat:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Live now on LinkedIn:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

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I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "trauma makes me funny" defense – sorry, but the comedic jury is still out on that one! 🤷‍♂️😅 It's like trying to justify a bad haircut with a sob story – nice try, but we're not buying it! 💇‍♂️😂 #ComedyCourtRuling

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,653

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Going viral on Facebook:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Shared recently on Discord:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Trending via Telegram:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Trending via Discord:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

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