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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Spotted on Threads:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The shitshow must go on.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Going viral on Slack:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Spotted on Messenger:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic "trauma makes me funny" defense – sorry, but the comedic jury is still out on that one! 🤷‍♂️😅 It's like trying to justify a bad haircut with a sob story – nice try, but we're not buying it! 💇‍♂️😂 #ComedyCourtRuling

coping, coping mechanism, critique, humor, i, irony, love, mechanism, okay, self-awareness, someone, trauma

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Slack this month:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

70 shares on Slack this month:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

42 shares on Threads this month:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when the universe delivers receipts.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,742

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Just shared via Threads:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Trending via Reddit:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Just landed via TikTok:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

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